As a manager, your words are your bond
In the squishy realm of managing humans, the specific things you say have specific outcomes.
Unfortunately, most managers are very bad at speaking precisely. Speaking precisely, especially about long-term, uncertain things, is not something many people do by nature.
To compound issues, there are a variety of factors that drive managers to speak non-specifically and say the wrong thing. These include things like:
- Nervousness or laziness
- Lack of experience
- Not wanting to disappoint people
- Not wanting to seem like you don’t have the answer
Let’s explore some common examples of imprecise language and how to fix them.
Common Examples
How Am I Doing?
The most common example of imprecise language is when someone asks you in a 1:1 “how am I doing?” Very few managers are ready to answer this question well on the spot. But managers answer the question anyway and often say things like:
“Oh you’re doing well, communication could improve a bit but overall you’re doing well.”
Well, what often happens is that the performance round happens and the person gets below expectations.
“I thought I was doing well?”
Yes, you did say that. You didn’t say that the communication piece is actually a major factor in their performance that is causing regular friction in the team.
The right answer in this situation is almost always to say that you need some time to gather your thoughts and will come to the next 1:1 with a more considered answer. By default this should be your answer any time anyone asks you how they’re doing, because unless you hold a ton of information in your head at all times and have regularly reviewed it for an accurate synthesis of their performance, there’s no way you can answer that question specifically, or well.
Performance Assessments
I mentioned this topic in our article on writing performance reviews. It’s extremely common for managers to use vague and overly flowery language in performance reviews.
Imagine you’re a junior engineer and you get a review that says:
“Angela is a great engineer and always up for a challenge.”
Problems:
- If Angela is a junior engineer and is already “great”, what does growth look like? Have they already peaked?
- Feedback is to either tell someone what to change or what to keep doing. “Great engineer” does none of that.
- People change. You’re describing them as having invariant properties vs. describing things they’ve done. This makes it harder for people to process feedback that’s counter to these claims in the future.
So, be very specific in what you’re calling out, and give feedback around actions, not attributes. Good examples:
- “Angela showed impressive persistence in delivering her feature through several requirements changes”
- “Angela is a detail-oriented code reviewer, much to the benefit of our team”
Can You Do This?
Another common example of unspecific language happens when your boss asks you if your team can do something. There’s two common, bad answers that people habitually use:
- Yes, we can (The refrain of yes men everywhere)
- No we can’t, we have too much to do, we’d have to make tradeoffs that would collapse the company (The refrain of people who are afraid of their team)
The problem is that neither of these answers are specific or true. The right answer here is to gather more information and circle back. But if there are meaningful tradeoffs, the right answer is always:
“We probably can but let me draw out the implications of taking on this work so we can align on priorities.”
Summary
The point here is that specific language really matters. “Good” is not the same as “persistent”. “Soon” is not the same thing as “6 months.”
One of the reasons why writing things down all the time is so useful is that it forces people into more measured, specific language. If you’re a manager, using measured and specific language needs to be a skill you learn ASAP.
Appendix: More Examples
Here’s a bunch of examples where people often use vague language when they shouldn’t:
Promotions
- Don’t: “I think a promotion soon is looking good.”
- Do: “We have two promotion cycles in the next 12 months. I think the one in 3 months is less likely and the one in 9 months is about 80% there. Let’s discuss why I’m thinking about those probabilities and we can make sure you feel that’s fair.”
PIPs
- Don’t: “Hey these last two weeks have been great.”
- Do: “These last two weeks have been at the level of output we determined was necessary for you to succeed in this PIP. You’ll have to keep this up for the remainder to pass.”
Hiring
- Don’t: “Yeah you can basically choose your team once you’re in.”
- Do: “We have three teams that have open roles right now. One of them you aren’t a fit for based on your background, so realistically that leaves two and of those two the X team seems like a better fit, so if you wouldn’t want to join that team, let’s talk”
Goals
- Don’t: “That’ll get done next quarter.”
- Do: “Our target date for that is March 1st.”
Performance assessments
- Don’t: “always”, “great”, “unbelievable”
- Do: “consistently”, “outstanding”, “leader amongst their cohort.”
Growth paths
- Don’t: “You should focus on more leadership opportunities this half.”
- Do: “Your goal this half should be to lead project Y. Starting tomorrow I will name you the project lead and we’ll have checkins monthly.”
Upward feedback
- Don’t: “This new bonus structure is stupid and punitive. Everyone hates it.”
- Do: “4/9 of my team have expressed severe concerns about this new bonus structure and I personally agree. I believe the schedule of money is non-standard and creates a feeling that our comp is always in flux.”